Blog Analysis.

This is very self-inflicted, isn't it.

If it was not self-inflicted, I wouldn't think about this too much. Come on, Anty, change the fact that you think too much and that you let things to your heart so easily and get some sleep.

Honestly.

Hi, this is me dwelling on the past on so many levels.

So I was on neopets and then and then a thought came to me and I was like: 'He seems like the type to secretly play neopets or have had a neopets account' WHICH IS WEIRD, I KNOW, but I just felt it.

So then I typed in his tumblr url, because chances are, he uses that url over and over again. And then the result came up and then there is an account. Omg.

I didn't think it was him at first, but how many of the few people out there thought of an url like... his? So, I clicked on it, and there he was, his name, and dklfjsdlkfj he was spotted under one day ago (which means he's currently an active neoplayer) and he (re)started last month or something.

If I could, I'd add him as a neofriend, but that will be awkward because:

a) we haven't communicated with each other since that time I've angered him (likes/reblogs don't count, even though I wish the reason why he still likes/reblogs posts of mine is because he forgave me/still places some hope in me. Yanno, because I still wanna be pals with him QuQ. I shouldn't assume he doesn't want to, but it's okay if he doesn't.

I know it sounds stupid because we've never met irl but i've met some great people online. I still think he's a great friend to have, and I wonder if he thinks so about me too? I wish. I hope.)

b) my profile is really plain and ugly and is so loser-like blegh

c) that would seem like i have stalked him. yeah.

Anxious Procrastinating.

I'm supposed to do my homework instead of this, but dlkfhfh.

I understand that not everyone believes in a God. I understand that they have the rights to think so as much as I have the rights to truly devote myself in One, and that they are allowed to say why as much as I am allowed to do so myself.

I shouldn't be hurt by what they say, since I know they don't intend to shove down what they believe in down the throats of people with a religion, likewise the believers to the non-believers.

But if my Iman was truly stable, my heart shouldn't waver like it does. I know it's my religion and I have the rights to follow it, and no one is stopping me from doing so. The people who says calmly that 'God doesn't exist' and rationally states why they think so do not expect anyone to shift their views on the subject.

It makes me feel very close-minded that whenever I read someone strongly disagree upon the existence of God, I feel a little bit hurt inside. I don't know if it's the way they say it (some really do act very viciously on their side of the argument which drives me nuts, but obviously we all have to find a way to tolerate with each other), or maybe because I admit that sometimes there is some sense to their points, and this scares me a lot. Of course I listen to their opinion and try to understand, or else I would be a completely ignorant person by not doing so - but I should learn to steady myself in confronting people with different views by now, especially with the internet connecting the world together and we often do cross paths here.

...

This post seems very pointless now because a) I've known from the beginning what I must do to make me feel like this less, b) I wouldn't like more trigger-warning type posts on my blog, c) it doesn't make any type of change whatsoever. Not like there were any change needed at the start, anyway.

BUT I've turned a blind eye on my homework just to try and get this off my chest so I might as well post it and get to deleting it later or something.

I feel like I couldn't post private things on tumblr anymore.

Not that I posted something I thought was a good opinion but people angrily deny that, or that I got any anon hate or whatever. But I like this blog. I could rant about anything whenever I want to, and even if tumblr is there for that very purpose (and I have intended tumblr to be another personal blog of mine), blogger is like... a place I could whisper silently the things I want to say. Like a diary, but not quite a diary as I post my entries up in case any of my friends read it, and it would matter a lot if they did, but if they don't, it's fine. It doesn't make it less of a diary.

It doesn't make it less of a diary, and let us not mind the fact that this is the internet and people could access this 'diary' anytime. People don't read this particular one, anyway.

Also, my personal posts on tumblr are mostly about digimon nowadays. I don't regret that. I was just saying.