i'm done sharpening the saw.

So I've become really lame and monotonous, and I find it much better to type or think in a proper manner like this. So I can't be like her, or her, or him, or whoever, who would rather be wild and outgoing and emitting a very happy feeling to whatever group they are in. Even outside the virtual connection (I mean, MSN, of course).

I mean, you know, of course I'll try to be less distant. It's what I've always wanted to be. But I suppose I should just accept that I can't be like them. I mean, I love myself, of course, being grateful for being me and living as me and being fine, healthy, and having enough mind and heart to be called a human (and I suppose, a good human, amin).

I'll love those who has ever loved me--as friend or family (or more. Ha ha! A good joke! ... But if there is then I'll love whoever that is just as much for being able to see something good in me. And in others as well. You get what I mean)--because. Well.

ALRIGHT, CAPS LOCK TIME AHAHA. AHA. HA.

I'll just drop trying to find ways to be less monotonous and proper and just accept myself. -__- I mean I'm not friendless or anything. I love being alone (this goes for me and my sister for some reason. We're a pair of masochistic introverts), but hate being lonely.

alfajlkf;lJ s;gdbanldfjbga,.dbn

KLSFBNS

AHA. AHA. AHA. WELL. I HAVE A FRENCH TEST TOMORROW WHOO. ANYWAY, I'M JUST DROPPING IN TO SAY YES, I FEEL QUITE HORRIBLE AND DIFFERENT, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S JUST A PHASE. SO YOU KNOW. OK I'M JUST GONNA SAY 'Amin' FOR EVERYTHING THAT MADE ME SMILE TODAY. I LOVE EVERYTHING THAT MADE ME DO EXACTLY JUST THAT. OKAY THANK YOU MA, PA, SIS, FRIENDS, MY IPOD, MY VUVUZELA, RANDOM PICTURES, TUMBLR, ETC. AND OF COURSE, GOD. <3

I should stop blabbering. Okay well I finished Winnie-the-Pooh, and I'd recommend it but it seems people my age would be too embarrassed to read it, or too bored by it, for some reason.

Did this sound far-fetched and lebay? Well, I'm sorry. It's just who I am right now. (:

The Game + Sharpening the saw.

Me on my bed in my head.

Well, yesterday was fun. Went to my first real football game (as in, in a stadium), and my first real football game was a match between argentina and brazil. ((: i have no idea why i cheered for argentina. i knew brazil had a better teamwork and method, but you know. *shrugs* THERE WAS JUST THIS POWER THAT I CANNOT DESCRIBE, lol. Maybe I just had a feeling they'd win. So I bought a vuvuzela after coming there with Rania's family and I was so happy *spazzes spazzes* Ocha came along. We ate and prayed in Villi, then we left to the stadium~

I went, 'oh crepe'. I haven't got my mobile. And 'oh crepe' how do you blow in your vuvuzela? Then I got more worried as the security guard FREAKING THREW MY VUVUZELA AWAY IN SUCH A HEARTLESS MANNER THAT I CANNOT SUPPRESS MYSELF FROM EMITTING A SHOCKED GASP. So we all walked up towards our areas, all of them in such high spirits and my mood was deflated so much I felt like crying. -___- My first vuvuzela was a waste of 25 riyals, and what angered me most was that I HEARD SOME PEOPLE PLAYING SOME VUVUS LATER IN THE STADIUM. Why, guards? Why?

Oh, and I met naila.

Lol, okay, most of the memories will be kept in my mind, so let me just skip to the technical bits. It was an exciting game. Zidane was there :'D. A fan ran across the field -intruder!- and got caught by the guards. Just. Before. Argentina. Scored. A. Goal. Obviously a Brazil fan. -_- Well he ain't doing any good for the Brazilians. He held the game back. I'd be annoyed if I was playing on the pitch but I don't know about the awesome Argentinians and Brazilians. Argentina scored 1-0 on around the 88th minute? 90th minute? I forgot. By Messi. And me and Dhe3 screamed like mad. :D

MORE VUVUZELAS *RAGES* or maybe they were air-horns. Hm. Good game for the Brazilians, though. They worked hard, as they usually do.

I sort of kinda asked aloud where my mobile is after that, then Tante Suzy pulled out something from her bag and handed it to me. I was like O____O. MY MOBILE. IF I JUST HAD MY MOBILE ALL ALONG I WOULD'VE BEEN ABLE TO TAKE PICTURES. WHY? WHYY?

Then me and Rania and ocha went in, me and R bought a vuvuzela and us 3 puzzled on how we blow it. We ended up just using it as a bullhorn and saying 'toot' into it. xDD

In the car, Rania and Ocha were telling my future. About. Well. Something. *GLARES* Then we sembelehed each other verbally. :)) Then ocha left and. Sob. We went back home.

---

This part is the one that relates to the GIF above. Alright. Well, to be straightforward and to-the-point, I just feel like I need to sharpen the saw. As in, change myself. I don't do much to make an impact on a person, but I love it when, you know. Someone tells me that I am fun to talk to. I love it when they talk to me, just to let their thoughts out, y'know. Corny stuff, but it's true. I'm all corn. Corn straight from a farmer's crop field--see? All corny.

And to make it shorter, I'll try and improve myself, and I'll love everyone of you who has ever liked who I am now. :) I'm trying to find a word--alhamdulillah, mebe. I mean, for who I am now.

But gosh, do I wanna give myself an internal kick sometimes.

"Come fly with me on my plane-for-two."

Arthur opened his eyes slowly. The wind was powerful, tousling his nibbled fringe in his eyelashes. The sunset blinded him for a moment. Then—“Oh!” he cried. He finally saw what Alfred had been dying to show him all along.

There was the port, now too far away beneath where they were. He could see the bright wind-sock flapping elegantly, and the earth was dotted with buildings and dashed with trees and forestry. There was the sea, crimson beneath the reddening sky, which Arthur thought seemed even more eternal as the duo hovered high above. And the sky—what a creation! He was closer to it now, and he was sure he could jump (if, he could jump from his seat, that is) up and graze his fingers through the pink clouds. It was as if he was seeing one corner of the world to the other. He felt like a God.

He tilted his head backwards, letting out a whoop of joy. He closed his eyes as he laughed. He listened to Alfred’s mirthful hoot; a warm and wise laughter, which resonated through Arthur’s heart even above the beating wind and the rumble of the engine.

“Wow,” Arthur breathed. His gaze settled at the heavens. Placing one hand on Alfred’s shoulder, he raised the other one up to the sky, as if reaching for it. “Wow,” he repeated. He was truly lost for words.

---

So. This was MEANT to be a part of a hetalia fanfic i'm working on with uk and usa.

I was barely on the fifth chapter when I gave up. And this is what. On the twentieth? But who cares about that.

USA -or alfred- is a mechanic who dreams of flying on an open cockpit (set in the early 1900's so planes were not like those today). UK -or arthur- is an author, who's been followed by USA in his quest to search for his wrongly-convicted 14-year-old brother Sealand -or peter. wait, none of this matters. sorry to blabber. -_-

i like who i am, really, but once in a while,

some people are just too gorgeous. i can't stop myself from looking at them and wishing i had their qualities.

naila and nadhira (i shouldn't name names but there we are, i'm the less better person here) really are two brilliant people. i wish i could stand up more like them two. i wish i could be more entertaining like them. i wish i have their guts. both of them are really talented and pretty. and intelligent. everything is just more lively whenever one of them comes (and when the two of them are there, i imagine a small party going on in our little group :) ). mashaAllah for both of them. they deserve a lot of love. this feels so corny but it's true.

after all,

'all that is beautiful is loved, and all that is not is unloved.'

aaaaaaah. i don't know what i'm saying. i love who i am, honestly. but i'm so out of place standing beside them two bosses. (:

LOOKING BACK AT MY OLDER POSTS, I WAS LIKE,

'IS THAT REALLY HOW I SOUND LIKE?'

I am

so

glad that I've grown up. I think? OTL maybe not.