a sprinkle of confusion

"You are a once-in-a-lifetime,

Never-before-on-Earth,

Never-to-be-again personality.

Understand the importance of that."

-Ruth Vaughn

Snagged from 'The 6 Most Imporant Decisions You'll Ever Make' again. I fail so bad OTL. But we'll come back to this later on, so, let's start off with positive notes.

Yesterday I had guitar lesson and it was brilliant. :D The teacher said I'll be skipping a few this-and-that and get into more (but hopefully not too complicated) forward subjects early. Huzzah! Oh, and I was picked for the World Scholars Cup debate thingy for Dubai. I'm really excited, but I can't help wonder if I'll be fine. I'm not a very debative person. And whoa, the materials we have to research are unbelievable. The Missing Link? The formation of the moon theory? It's splendid, but... :/ Still, I think, maybe I'll survive. I'm going mostly for the sights and the 4* star hotel, whee~ :D /I SUCK.

I wanna go to England next year, hoho. D8

And, it's Environmental Week this week, and I don't think I've done much to save the environment which I claim that I love oh-so-very-much. I'm sorry, rainforests. I really, really do love you. D: I'll have to love you more if I'm gonna start making big changes though. u__u;

---

Isn't it amazing, that no one over the past thousands of years, has the same personality? Ever? Sure, there are those who are very similar, share the same interests, dislike the same subjects, but there will always be something different about any soul wandering around the earth, past or present.

But that's just a bit of the point I'm trying to make. The thing is, I've been wondering if I've ever been myself. Or, maybe I have just been acting completely different at different places at different times that I have no idea who myself is anymore. Am I the dreamer I 'claim' to be or the angry brat who sulks at home?

Okay, well I don't sulk often. Maybe I do but I push that away, even though it gets too me so bad that at times I'd like to cry. Though the littlest things, I shouldn't allow to ruin my life. But I don't sulk at the smallest things either. Well, except for piano, cuz I always hate being dragged to lessons when I haven't practiced enough or feel very tired *WHICHISEVERYWEEK* orz.

It's just that, if I'm only 'ardianty' why is it that i feel like i have to act differently all the time? maybe it's the fact that i'm insecure of who i am? this post may be exaggerative, but i'm merely blurting out my thoughts.

sometimes, i admire 'B' and Jana. They could act a little over the top, but I wish I could just be free to speak my thoughts whenever I want to, and not care what anyone else would think of me.

Sometimes, I wonder, if I were to always show my 'inner-self', would I still have the friends I have now? Or not?