Of Faith and Doubt

Can I find Faith here?

It seems that I had almost lost my faith in, well... everything.

I dunno how it happened to be honest. It was probably because it was 'time', but I felt so doubtful of myself.

Of how I felt I wasn't good enough. It wasn't pressure, though. Just the feeling you get when you feel so useless in everything.

Gah gah gah gah gah.

It got so bad I cried twice this week. =u=;; Then I cried even harder for scolding myself that I'm just making it hard on myself for worrying over something what others consider 'small'.

Well, I dunno. Faith is important to me. I think we can cry over it sometimes, but not that often. When we feel like we're losing it of course.

And then I almost lost it when I thought about how my friends might abandon me. About how I will lose my best friends. And everyone else who I love so much. Then I realized that that is one of my worst fears.

Wait, I'm going off-base.

Ignore the last few paragraphs and lines. I don't think it makes much sense either.

The point is have faith in God before you have faith in yourself. I thought about that when I slept last night. It was sad, and I cried about how it feels, like I almost lost faith in Allah.

And I hate that about me. I don't ever want to stray far from Allah's side. I don't wanna be a hypocrite.

Oh yeah, last night I dreamt that I was about to pray in my sleep. Waking up it made me feel hopeful.

I also once had a dream where it was all dark and rainy. Then I prayed in my dream to Allah SWT that it would be bright and nice again, and it came true later on.

That also made me feel hopeful. :)

WAIT OFF-BASE OFF-BASE OFF-BASE.

Okay so the thing that is important here is that

I have got my Faith back.

And we should all believe in ourselves.

But mostly believe in God.

--- ~ x 0 * x o ~ ---

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DS:GOJDSKLGANMSDF:LKGJAS I DUNNO WHAT IS COMING OVER ME.

Oh yeah, note to self:

a) think about what makes you feel sad and emo all of a sudden and see the main cause of it. If it is from small things like school grades and competitions -andignoredfanfics- DO NOT GET WORKED UP.

b) SING. It makes you feel better. Begin singing with doors closed so you could shout at full blast without disturbing family with your terribly awesome voice. (Y) It boosts confidence, I suppose.

c) Publishing fanfics may break your heart. But keep on going anyways, and share your ideas.

If they don't read it may as well be their loss, haha *slaps*.

*OH YEAH I just published one and this time I got 3 reviews. 8D That's good considering it's a one-shot and most one-shots have an average of maybe 3-5 reviews*

*OH YEAH the best I've done was a fic with 4 chapters so far with 21 reviews YAY. That's like, five reviews-ish on each chapter *brags* *

d) Read and look at other people's works and comment about it. They might appreciate it and help appreciate your works too. (Y)

e) Act like yourself. Do what you want to do at school, speak your mind. That's the reason why you LMAO everyday after-school!

f) Believe. In yourself and other people.

g) Treat Bibil nicely. Don't get too close. Warning.

THIS WAS A RANT TO MYSELF. IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO COMMENT (if anyone is reading this that is) ABOUT MAINLY BECAUSE THIS IS UNCLEAR, DON'T.

AlthoughI'dappreciateitifyoudidhahahahahahahahahaha *SHOT*