Are You Gonna Cry?This week had been a field of sloping hills. I enjoyed the views at the top, but then eventually, I had to come down, before going up again.
The Art above belongs to Tokunaga-1 at DA. Her arts are really cute. Especially this one. :3 I have been obsessing over Len for a few days. Or maybe a couple of weeks since I lost count. Kokoro-Kiseki touched my heart completely. RINxLEN FOREVAAAH~ I even made a fanart of them to prove my loyalty to that mentioned pairing MWAHAHAHA.
Sunday was hectic and sad. The school day was normal I suppose. A bit quieter than usual, but overall I thought it was okay. At home, things changed drastically. I was frustrated. I cried because of my own selfish reasons. It was because of my Maths homework. I am ashamed of how I reacted then, but I shall rant about it now. After tackling the first few easy exercises, I realised that as I dug deeper into my homework, it got harder and more challenging (Duh.). Giving up on the question that had got me baffled, I went to Mom to seek assistance. And so she did help me. After a few more questions, I asked for help again and she continued to help me. Then there came the moment when she was very stressed out and depressed that day and I found the wrong time to get a tantrum. I asked her for help (again) and she sighed "Give me a scrap paper" I just grabbed a random paper since I was blinded by frustration and turns out it was a clean one. Then, because I was really mad I 'absent-mindedly' crumpled it. My mom didn't like seeing me act so rough so she started crying because of depression. I cried along because I was the one who made her cry. Feeling ashamed, we didn't talk a while after that. Then I apologised to her. She brightened up and we hugged for a while. She said she was actually crying for another reason.
I felt relieved then, but before that Dad got angry and made me feel worse. -____- I don't blame him. I should blame myself. I realised we drifted (Me and Dad) apart for a few days because of that disruption. But yesterday, I think, we reunited again. Feeling so messed up and wanting to apologise so bad (I haven't even thought about how to apologise yet) I anxiously asked him about our Umrah trip. That broke the barrier, and we started to talk again. Alhamdullillah :) . Thank you, for giving me the chance to correct my wrongs. Thank you for breaking the wall between me and my parents. :)
Monday to Tuesday was okay. In fact, those couple of days were better than Sunday. Monday was normal. Tuesday we watched a movie in Islamic aout the Prophet Muhammad SAW. The movie was very inspirational. Somehow, the words that the Prophet actually spoken seemed to have a great impact on me, and almost broke me down in sniffles. xD
Wednesday was Environmental Day though I didn't bother pick a dress to wear. I didn't mind going through the day without AC. It was a cool day, anyway. I had to think about Piano since I didn't practice much, but it turned out better than I expected.
Thursday, today, it rained. But only lightly. Drip, drip, stop. Drip, drip and another pause. I wanted it to drizzle harder. OH THE EMO-NESS I CONCEAL INSIDE MY SOUL~
Today we watched a movie in History for a change. :D I think the complaints and moanings and whinings of my class had sank deep into Mr. Firth. Dx But oh well, the documentary wasn't so bad I guess.
I also want to talk about an interesting dream I had with 'The Wonder'. I regretted having to wake up without getting a conclusion to my dream, since my dream was at its most exciting and happy point when my mom, our alarm system, woke us up. -___- Right.
There are two parts to my dream where he was in it.
I shall tell the first part first, and the last part last. P:
It was drizzling outside, just like it was this morning, only much harder. The classroom was noisy, despite the fact that we had loads to do. We were all waiting for the break bell to ring.
Tick tock tick tock.
Ring.
We were dismissed. I was a slow-packer; making sure that all my books go in my bag neatly and carefully, and was the last one to emerge from the class. Standing in front of me was The Wonder himself. Our eyes had locked for two seconds. 1... 2... And the contact broke. He reunited with his friends, leaving me into deep thoughts of my own and feeling empty. After all, like I said, every contact we had with each other would probably always be coincidences or accidents, anyways. I looked up, just for a chance to see him looking back. And I saw him, staring at me for a little bit. His mouth twitched a little before he gave a warm yet brief smile at me and then he went with his friends, while I was left, feeling happy and somehow boisterous inside.
Funny how I described that in a paragraph, when the truth is, it only took a couple of seconds. XD
I'm too lazy to describe the second part. >_>
The Art above belongs to Tokunaga-1 at DA. Her arts are really cute. Especially this one. :3 I have been obsessing over Len for a few days. Or maybe a couple of weeks since I lost count. Kokoro-Kiseki touched my heart completely. RINxLEN FOREVAAAH~ I even made a fanart of them to prove my loyalty to that mentioned pairing MWAHAHAHA.
Sunday was hectic and sad. The school day was normal I suppose. A bit quieter than usual, but overall I thought it was okay. At home, things changed drastically. I was frustrated. I cried because of my own selfish reasons. It was because of my Maths homework. I am ashamed of how I reacted then, but I shall rant about it now. After tackling the first few easy exercises, I realised that as I dug deeper into my homework, it got harder and more challenging (Duh.). Giving up on the question that had got me baffled, I went to Mom to seek assistance. And so she did help me. After a few more questions, I asked for help again and she continued to help me. Then there came the moment when she was very stressed out and depressed that day and I found the wrong time to get a tantrum. I asked her for help (again) and she sighed "Give me a scrap paper" I just grabbed a random paper since I was blinded by frustration and turns out it was a clean one. Then, because I was really mad I 'absent-mindedly' crumpled it. My mom didn't like seeing me act so rough so she started crying because of depression. I cried along because I was the one who made her cry. Feeling ashamed, we didn't talk a while after that. Then I apologised to her. She brightened up and we hugged for a while. She said she was actually crying for another reason.
I felt relieved then, but before that Dad got angry and made me feel worse. -____- I don't blame him. I should blame myself. I realised we drifted (Me and Dad) apart for a few days because of that disruption. But yesterday, I think, we reunited again. Feeling so messed up and wanting to apologise so bad (I haven't even thought about how to apologise yet) I anxiously asked him about our Umrah trip. That broke the barrier, and we started to talk again. Alhamdullillah :) . Thank you, for giving me the chance to correct my wrongs. Thank you for breaking the wall between me and my parents. :)
Monday to Tuesday was okay. In fact, those couple of days were better than Sunday. Monday was normal. Tuesday we watched a movie in Islamic aout the Prophet Muhammad SAW. The movie was very inspirational. Somehow, the words that the Prophet actually spoken seemed to have a great impact on me, and almost broke me down in sniffles. xD
Wednesday was Environmental Day though I didn't bother pick a dress to wear. I didn't mind going through the day without AC. It was a cool day, anyway. I had to think about Piano since I didn't practice much, but it turned out better than I expected.
Thursday, today, it rained. But only lightly. Drip, drip, stop. Drip, drip and another pause. I wanted it to drizzle harder. OH THE EMO-NESS I CONCEAL INSIDE MY SOUL~
Today we watched a movie in History for a change. :D I think the complaints and moanings and whinings of my class had sank deep into Mr. Firth. Dx But oh well, the documentary wasn't so bad I guess.
I also want to talk about an interesting dream I had with 'The Wonder'. I regretted having to wake up without getting a conclusion to my dream, since my dream was at its most exciting and happy point when my mom, our alarm system, woke us up. -___- Right.
There are two parts to my dream where he was in it.
I shall tell the first part first, and the last part last. P:
It was drizzling outside, just like it was this morning, only much harder. The classroom was noisy, despite the fact that we had loads to do. We were all waiting for the break bell to ring.
Tick tock tick tock.
Ring.
We were dismissed. I was a slow-packer; making sure that all my books go in my bag neatly and carefully, and was the last one to emerge from the class. Standing in front of me was The Wonder himself. Our eyes had locked for two seconds. 1... 2... And the contact broke. He reunited with his friends, leaving me into deep thoughts of my own and feeling empty. After all, like I said, every contact we had with each other would probably always be coincidences or accidents, anyways. I looked up, just for a chance to see him looking back. And I saw him, staring at me for a little bit. His mouth twitched a little before he gave a warm yet brief smile at me and then he went with his friends, while I was left, feeling happy and somehow boisterous inside.
Funny how I described that in a paragraph, when the truth is, it only took a couple of seconds. XD
I'm too lazy to describe the second part. >_>
This was written on Thursday BTW so if it says 'Like how it rained today' it meant how it rained on Thursday.
5 comments:
UR DREAMS SOUND LIKE EXAGGERATED REALITY.
n btw if u get t kno th real him like me, u wudnt even THINK abt callin him 'th wonder'. cz he isnt. anymore.
THTS ALL I GOTTA SAY :D
u make ur blog sound like a best-selling novel of some sort..
LOL BUT DREAMS ARE ALL ABOUT FANTASIES AND IMAGINATIONS! XD It wouldn't be called a dream if it felt like the reality you currently live in now, ya know? P:
Nuu, nuu, I still like him. But not as mmuch ya know? XD But I still get 'heartbeats' everytime we're close or when he's looking my direction... xD
Is that sarcasm? -.- I dnt rele like how I write my blog... it sounds so... I dunno, not good? XD Makes me feel like a pohser somehow. Maybe I am. ;(
Feel free to disagree. :D
no cz like, eye contact is so.. real-life u kno? i see no dream aspect of it XD
LOL whoever sed u dnt like him anymore? o__O;; im just sayin if u find out th real him u wudnt call him 'th wonder'... well yea >__>;;
n no it isnt sarcasm xD
things just sound a little too over-th-top tho when u type like this ); no offense.
LEN KAGAMINEE~ you should watch the Servant of Evil. but before that watch Daughter of Evil first, it'll make much more sense.
KokoroxKiseki was sad T_T
Kaito pwns Len any day. (Kaito's another vocaloid singer)
you blog be very bestseller.
well i think he's normal, so i have no comment about that exaggerated reality -refuses to call it a dream since it's so real-like-
U COPY MA PHRASE MAN
*cania
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