Something happy for once.

I've been denying that I liked anyone recently, even though I knew deep down I still have that immature feeling for someone. :) More on this shortly.

Thursday today, I was supposed to be late for school, but when I got there at 7.08, the tutor said I wasn't late at all. Haha, it was weird.

But, I did believe that today was gonna be a good day.

I mean, I realised I'm still very close with a friend I thought I might lose (and hopefully I'd never will, amin), I could laugh until my sides ached and the week went by real fast.

And I see lots of fanarts about USUK, which is awesome.

But the main thing is. Well. Today, my 'simsalabim' opened a chat randomly with me on MSN. When he opened it, I was still denying that I had feelings for him. I remember then the previous night when we had a conversation, with him, Ocha, Jihan, Nadhira, etc. It was fun. We had so much laugh.

I never expected to see a chat window opened from him with just the two of us anytime soon though. I mean we did have nice, personal chats twice. The other two were awkward.

Anyhow, it started with him saying 'Hey!' and 'I'm bored. :P '

Then we talked and talked, had a few pauses here and there. Then it came to a long pause, and I just had to tell a joke I found on dA. I didn't expect his reaction to be big. He typed in:

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahhahahahahahha (goes for 2.3 lines-ish)

You can't believe how much I was going red and I was laughing back. When I asked him why, he said it was literally funny. Then he says, copied and pasted from our chat log directly:

'i jst cnt help it, u found a joke, wer no1 suceeded t make me laugh fr th last 3 months'

now, it might not seem much to you, but it's a lot to me. i'm sure he was exaggerating a bit but... .///. ... I still tried to deny I like him. But later on, when ocha and jihan added us to this group convo, he said he was depressed. I suggested him to eat chocolate. He said good idea. I suggested him to think of things that made him laugh. He said good idea, but it wouldn't work.

Then I said he should try faking a laugh, listen to how silly he sounds, then he'd laugh a real laugh because that's what I do. And he said:

'hahah, rofl. good idea.

ardi, i think i'll talk t u wen i need t chill, u make me laugh :P'

it was then that I realised I had to accept the fact that I still place some hope on him after all. :)

-WUT-

You know, most of the posts I post up here is mostly...

Sad. :/ So, let's just say this is a rant-blog, 'kay? I jsut decided to not post about happy stuffs here. I get inspired to write when I'm down. -__-

Well, firstly, the holiday had been well. In fact, it started off pretty nicely, what with a new guitar and two visits to the Pearl and all. We finished the year with sanlat in Muaither, and I guess you could say everything was perfect.

But then something happened and my face just fell like .___. .

But even before that, something had been bugging me all along.

For example, why is it that me and Dad don't hang around anymore? I find it hard to talk to him. I tried, sorta, by interviewing him with random questions (asking about his interests, of course) and telling about my time in sanlat or whatever. His responses are always very short and quite, often accompanied by a small smile. Then after a minute or so of just me saying how the event went, it was all silence again. I feel like we don't know each other. D:

I fear for him, somehow. Well, for this family's relationship, really. I get along good with Ard and Mom, but with Dad? It's very hard to talk with him. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough. I just couldn't find the right things to say. But I know that Dad is also a quiet person as well.

I guess, if I couldn't ask for him to be a bit more communicative, I'll have to push myself into making us closer, won't I? T___T

It's not as easy as it sounds. Most normal fathers would spend time watching sports with their children or something, or wrestle and chat and laugh. Now, I'm not asking for my dad to change.

I'm just wondering how I could make it a close father-to-daughter relationship without asking for my Dad, nice the way he already is, to change.