Social Outcast. That's me.
voice. Any voice. Right now. I choose Blogger to rant instead of LJ because I know I can count on some people to comment and give their 'voices'. D:
And ranting. I want to rant how it's only 3 weeks of school and I'm already missing Year 7 because that's the year when I first entered QIS and started off as a Social Outcast like I am right now. But very different. Last year, I can start over new. I can make better first impressions and create new friends.
But I am gradually getting quieter every day. See why 'cuz this is killing me as I rant on.
I think I bore people out. Whenever I'm stuck with one person, be it either from the same group as the one I usually hang out with or not, we'd find both of us in silence for a while before one of us says something completely out of the blue (Whichwouldusuallybeme :-D) . It's like I don't have any topics to talk about. Which leads me to the next one on the list of Why-I-Be-So-SO:
I think I'm uninteresting. Because I CAN'T THINK OF ANY TOPIC TO TALK ABOUT. My life? Very unexciting. I mean, what does an average kid do in their everyday life? Me? I DO VERY BORING STUFFS AND I ENGROSS MY SELF IN THEM. Meaning; I enjoy doing what I want to do even though they're quite boring. Then I come into school and my pals talk about something so awesome and I just stand there and listen, having nothing to talk about. I feel lame.
My likes and dislikes. While my friends like stuffs like... like... any Western bands (They're cool, don't get me wrong), I go for KPop. Very different stuff to what my friends like. Then I like anime. So far, only two pals o mine like anime and I'm not interested that much in what they watch. >___<>
It is very obvious. It is slightly embarrassing, even though no one really cares to notice. I would be the one sticking out of my group at the edge of the circle we usually form. Ocha says it too. She pointed that out to me that I looked like a loner. I said aloud that I refused in believing that.
voice. Any voice. Right now. I choose Blogger to rant instead of LJ because I know I can count on some people to comment and give their 'voices'. D:
And ranting. I want to rant how it's only 3 weeks of school and I'm already missing Year 7 because that's the year when I first entered QIS and started off as a Social Outcast like I am right now. But very different. Last year, I can start over new. I can make better first impressions and create new friends.
But I am gradually getting quieter every day. See why 'cuz this is killing me as I rant on.
I think I bore people out. Whenever I'm stuck with one person, be it either from the same group as the one I usually hang out with or not, we'd find both of us in silence for a while before one of us says something completely out of the blue (Whichwouldusuallybeme :-D) . It's like I don't have any topics to talk about. Which leads me to the next one on the list of Why-I-Be-So-SO:
I think I'm uninteresting. Because I CAN'T THINK OF ANY TOPIC TO TALK ABOUT. My life? Very unexciting. I mean, what does an average kid do in their everyday life? Me? I DO VERY BORING STUFFS AND I ENGROSS MY SELF IN THEM. Meaning; I enjoy doing what I want to do even though they're quite boring. Then I come into school and my pals talk about something so awesome and I just stand there and listen, having nothing to talk about. I feel lame.
My likes and dislikes. While my friends like stuffs like... like... any Western bands (They're cool, don't get me wrong), I go for KPop. Very different stuff to what my friends like. Then I like anime. So far, only two pals o mine like anime and I'm not interested that much in what they watch. >___<>
My reluctance to speak. Because, like the first and second, I might say something completely boring. But then I ask myself: is keeping quiet as boring as saying something 'not catchy'? :\ I'm not a good source of jokes, but I love making my friends laugh everyday with my... er... actually I don't really get how we're able to laugh our guts out, but I'm happy that I could be the reason why my friends laugh. And I hope that I get to do that more often, preferrably almost every day of school, insyallah.
My high level of... err, introvertism @_@. It got so bad that I refuse nearly all invitations from my friends and I want to punish myself for being so hesitant. The reason why I'm not very enthusiastic when it comes to parties is that I know as one that I get easily left out and ignored in a group. My evanescence. It's very horrible and tough. So, why come, when it wouldbe like spending my night mostly alone? Well, it doesn't always turn out that way though, thank God. Right now, a friend of mine is thinking about holding a beach party. I want to go so bad. But then I thought, how they just talk about it in front of me but seeming to say it without addressing me at all, I wonder if I am invited? Some friends I got. Some friend I am. And I suppose I don't like myself more than anyone at this moment for being such a scared little puss last year.
My high level of... err, introvertism @_@. It got so bad that I refuse nearly all invitations from my friends and I want to punish myself for being so hesitant. The reason why I'm not very enthusiastic when it comes to parties is that I know as one that I get easily left out and ignored in a group. My evanescence. It's very horrible and tough. So, why come, when it wouldbe like spending my night mostly alone? Well, it doesn't always turn out that way though, thank God. Right now, a friend of mine is thinking about holding a beach party. I want to go so bad. But then I thought, how they just talk about it in front of me but seeming to say it without addressing me at all, I wonder if I am invited? Some friends I got. Some friend I am. And I suppose I don't like myself more than anyone at this moment for being such a scared little puss last year.
It is very obvious. It is slightly embarrassing, even though no one really cares to notice. I would be the one sticking out of my group at the edge of the circle we usually form. Ocha says it too. She pointed that out to me that I looked like a loner. I said aloud that I refused in believing that.
But I know, even before she told me, I am the odd one out. Not in.
Basically, I'm ranting about myself. And I'm quite upset about it; probably the reason why I'm losing my appetite these days. Even though in school I smile. :) I'll just have to try harder, don't I?
~~~
NOW TO LIFT MY SPIRITS UP I SHALL ADMIT THAT I AM, CRAZY AS IT IS, SLIGHTLY ATTRACTED TO VERY VERY VERY MILD YOY. 8D
*rummages through google to find some USxUK and GerIta pics*
...
*FAILS*
Well, wotevah. To make up the lack of Yoy Hetalia pics, I present to you Hetalia icons by LiveJournal. X))
No, wait, this is very cute Bromance between lil' USxUK. 8D
Austria and Hungary. One of the straight couples in Hetalia ^-^.
Right, I has homework to complete, and it is 9.45 PM. 8).
Did I mention how fun History is with Hetalia on your mind?
*is dead*
THANK YOU TO YOU IF YOU HAD STUCK ALL THE WAY THROUGH THIS DREADFULLY LONG ANGSTY POST. <3
